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If there was any question as to the genius of humans it let this be the answer, we've created glowing pigs. This is the best and literally the brightest idea since the wallet. (The wallet was very important because before that everything was just loose in everyones pockets, it was a mess).
Glowing pigs were originally created because so many pigs are afraid of the dark. The scared pigs kept running over to the farmer's beds at night for protection against the monsters. Now because they glow they act as their own built in night light.
Now the government is trying to determine how to inject our enemy with these glowing pig genes so that we can find them in the dark. One idea is to put mini skirts on pigs and dress them up as prostitutes or pigstitutes and plant them in enemy territory hoping at least they will breed with the enemy and creative glowing spawn. Though this idea isn't entirely perfect as pigs tend to have high standards for who they'll sleep with compared to donkeys who'll sleep with just about anybody.
