For the holidays I decided to take an economy flight out of the worlds 976th busiest airport St. Pete/Clearwater International (PIE). I flew a little known airline owned by apple vacations called USA 3000. While I did have to suffer some jokes from friends on whether they would have to wind up the propellers before take off or stop for gas halfway, my experience was rather indifferent.
It was a round trip, return if you are from Europe, flight direct to Chicago for under 200 bucks which was the draw to the airline. Normal fair for the same dates out of Tallahassee was 500 plus. A friends mom drove me to the airport two and a half hours before my flight took off after a great day of fun with the Catch Your Limit team at Busch Gardens.
I arrived at the ticket counter and was promptly checked in. I always go out of my way to be nice to the ticket counter people because they probably have one of the worst jobs in the world. I would rather test shark repellent than work at one of these counters. Irate people look to them to clear fog from landings and de-ice the runways with their bare hands. Why don't they go ahead and solve world-hunger while they're at it. "What do you mean we are delayed, its just a little hurricane?" I recall one passenger saying. Anyway the lady at the counter indicated we were delayed about 45 minutes due to low ceiling in Chicago. No problem, I said its the holidays I knew it would happen and you have to go to the airport knowing more than likely a delay is in your future.
I head up to the little bar they have and hunker down in a bar stool with a beer. The bartenders must love it during delays. They have a built in prison-style clientele. I ask him if he likes delays due to the economy boost. I pray for them he says as he slides my Miller Lite onto a coaster. Maybe CYL should discover some way to get into this racket. No more creative mailer marketing, prison-style is the way to go.
I check my phone for flight info and we are now delayed an hour and fifteen minutes. Not bad but there was no way I was going to join the mass of people waiting by the gate until the absolute last minute.
Time to board.
As I approached my row on the plane I could see somebody sitting in my window seat. I love the window and I'll be damned if somebody is gonna take it. Turns out the couple was traveling together and said "it doesn't matter does it?" Guess not I replied and I plopped down on the aisle seat not wanting further incident because they were belligerently drunk while I just had a buzz.
Note to future passengers: USA 3000 has two beverage carts, one starts at row one and works to row 14 and the other starts at the last row and works to row 16, I sat in row 15 and it wasn't until the drunks sitting next to me yelled across the cabin that the mistake was noticed. Three double jack & cokes later they were satisfied.
We got in to Chicago a little before midnight and we still had the worst part of any flight to go, baggage claim. I hate baggage claim, you hurry down to your belt driven baggage chalet and wait. 30 then 45 minutes go by... nothing. Finally the belt starts moving and everybody jumps to action like people waiting in front of the mall on Black Friday. Inevitably somebody picks up your black suitcase even though you put the red strap on there to keep it separated. I finally get my bag and shoot up to departures to meet my friends who had the patience to wait.
We finally get out of there, head to the Mad Tapper for a night cap and reach our quota for second-hand smoke before Chicago bars and restaurants went cigarette free on January 1st. A mildly interesting holiday travel story indeed.
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