Courage

Today I went to lunch and came back to the office. I struck up a conversation with the receptionist. Then, I went down the hall to my office. A colleague came in and we chatted for a while about a big presentation. A few hours passed and I was off to do the presentation. Everything seemed to go great. I came back and a friend at work dropped in to ask about the presentation. I shared with them the highlights and how confident I felt. Then, I went to the restroom. In the restroom, I looked in the mirror. And, there it was! A piece of broccoli ... in my teeth. It must have been there since lunch and no one had the courage to tell me!

Stories are powerful.

This week, I was working with Jim, a leader that I met recently and can't wait to learn more about. To set up a discussion he wanted to have about courage, he told a version of the story above (which you may heard before). It was a great set-up to lead us into a conversation about courage at work.

Why is telling someone they have broccoli in their teeth so hard to do? What is it that we're afraid of? Why is giving criticism or suggestions so hard to do? What is it that we're afraid of? Why is talking to someone about something they are doing that is making them look bad so difficult? What is it that we're afraid of?

The more I thought about this, the more I thought about not only the courage it takes to tell someone they have broccoli in their teeth, but the courage it takes to deal with that person's reaction. It is our assumption based on past experience that the reaction will be highly emotional. Therefore, our way of protecting ourselves is to not have the conversation.

So, why do we typically react so emotionally? Let's face it, I want someone to tell me that I have broccoli in my teeth before a big presentation ... knowing this will give me the opportunity to get the broccoli out of my teeth which will make me look better. Why don't we approach other forms of criticism or feedback with this same mindset?

Someone is sharing this information with me because they have the courage to tell me something that may hurt or embarass at first, but ultimately will make me better. We, too, must have the courage to react in a non-defensive way. How better would I be today if I was great at receiving constructive criticism?

"With courage you will dare to take risks, have the strength to be compassionate, and the wisdom to be humble. Courage is the foundation of integrity." K. Nair