Don't miss your chance to wax your brother

I'm back. I was out last week on vacation at the beach in Seagrove, FL with family-wife, aunt, uncle, cousins,mother, her husband, brother and sister. If this post is a little woozy have some patience with me, I'm just getting back and I'm not quite all here yet.

It was great to get to spend so much time with family as some, including my brother are moving to Colorado between now and the end of August. Still, I'm a little disappointed we didn't get to do one of the things I was really looking forward to-waxing my brother.

My brother has a hairy body, shoulders, arms, back and stomach. Pretty much every inch is covered in a orange-ish blond hair except his palms. His fur coat might turn out to be an advantage in Colorado but it isn't turning out that way here, on the beach. The sunscreen creates an oily quilt of sunburned patches with white crannies where he didn't quite rub it in. From a distance he appears to be wearing an eighties Hypercolor t-shirt.

Our plan was to restrain him, either with rope or debilitating narcotics. After he was subdued we'd get to waxing. Originally this started off as a joke by my uncle but I'm pretty sure everybody was ready to make it a reality. What could serve as a more wholesome family activity than removing someones body hair?

When I think back to other vacations I often remember what I wasn't able to do as much as what I actually did:

New York-didn't see the Twin Towers
London-didn't see Mamma Mia
British Virgin Islands-didn't go to Anegada and eat lobster
Seagrove-didn't wax my brother

As I sit here in Tallahassee, back at work the day is dark with the threat of thunderstorms and the oak tree branches play the sound of a car that needs its brakes fixed on my office window. Except instead of telling me to check my pads before I wear out my rotors the tree's tune goes, "you missed your chance, you're not on vacation anymore."