Pee Weasel

Monday morning I woke up startled. I had a dream and tried to work my way back to it. Of course this never works but for some reason we always try. As I could not make it back to my dream I decided to wake up and let my dog, Benson, outside to relieve himself as he was looking a little nervous.

As he scurried out the door I began to remember my dream. I was in a jungle hacking through vines with a machete. I wore a backpack and sweat. Fortunately, I was with survivalist Bear Grylls. He and I were hacking our way through some unknown jungle trying to make it back to civilization as is his goal on his TV show Man vs. Wild. (one of my favorite show (the man is crazy)).

The most significant event in this dream was the weasel slaughter. Bear and I approached a colony of weasels. This was going to be our food source, we needed the protein to sustain us through our journey. We captured these weasels with our bare hands. Bear began to talk to the camera and tell a story about how two hikers that were lost in the jungle just like this survived for three months purely on weasel meat. We held them down, pinned them against a boulder and crushed their little weasel heads with our feet.

At first I had a problem smashing these weasels. Whenever I'd raise my foot before crushing their skulls their face would transform into the face of my dog Benson. Obviously this caused me to pause, not wanting to crush my pup. Then I'd remove my foot from above the weasel's head and he'd reveal his true weasel identity.

This was wasting mine and Bear's time and precious energy, every minute counts when you are in survival mode. I really needed to get past this. I realized these were just really tricky weasels, so I crushed their skulls. Bear and I skinned and ate these weasels. They were delicious. We used their bones to construct a shelter and their pelts as blankets.

I'm not sure if Bear and I made it safely out of the jungle and back to civilization. I awoke to find my dog anxiously pacing around the bedroom. Perhaps he knew the danger involved with being the face that sneaky weasels use to avoid being stomped. Perhaps he is some kind of weasel himself. Or maybe he just had to pee.