The Monkey Trial

An African woman is facing charges for smuggling monkey meat to America. She faces five years prison for her actions. Her reasons for smuggling the meat is that it is simply delicious and part of a traditional diet in Africa specifically for religious events (Easter, thanksgiving, etc..). The article says,
"...charging her with meat smuggling, and touching on issues of religious freedom, infectious diseases and wildlife preservation."

First let me tell you this is not a case about any of those things this is a case about the lack of meat selection in America.

Let me also say, that I've often expounded on how delicious monkeys look and I'm glad that my beliefs are confirmed. Whenever I eat a monkey animal crackers it is like a big tease and I just start craving a monkey arm even though it is the neck that is the most delectable portion. I'd settle for the arm. Additionally, many who know me have heard me talk about the limited meat selection found at American grocers. You're pretty much stuck with cow, chicken, lamb, pig, or fish. A pretty paltry selection when you consider all the creatures that are made of meat out there. Not only is the selection limiting but our food supply is so narrow we are really in danger of livestock disease limiting our access to meat.

This immigrant discovered first hand the one major downfall of America as a nation. No monkeys. Sure we have the Bill of Rights but what good is the right to bear arms if you can't shoot monkeys with those arms? We need monkeys right now more than ever.

The truth is the woman didn't realize that mailing monkey meat to America was wrong, at least that is what she claims. I myself an American native didn't realize it was such a big deal either. I've never seen any ads about the dangers or seriousness of mailing monkey. Who knew?

Retailers & Farmers need to keep a close eye on this case because it is really evident of the need for more meats in America. I do understand the concern by conservationist, I mean, it wouldn't be ideal to consume a bunch of endangered species but there is a solution. This is where the farmers come in handy, if we farmed monkeys right here in America we'd create jobs and have a bountiful supply of safe monkey meat. Since monkeys don't get hoof in mouth we wouldn't even have to worry about it, they don't have hooves plus they don't get mad monkey disease either.