Anti spill muscle relief

This morning while I was carrying my coffee from the kitchen I left a trail of brown spots along the floor in case I needed to find my way back.

This is the excuse I make for myself but the truth is I can't carry any liquids without spillage. I know it isn't quite right because I see other people carry things without spilling all the time. Why must I suffer like this?

The worst is probably soup which my dog loves because he gets to lick the chicken flavored vinyl.

For a while I thought my legs were unequal in length. But now I think now that it is some muscle in my hands. I think it is the same muscle that controls my ability to draw circles. Rather my inability, I can't make circles, well good circles, circular circles. They always come out looking like a retarded egg and usually the starting point doesn't even connects with the ending point.

I''m going to propose that the Olympic Committee add this to the Summer games as a biathlon. Walk with hot soup in the mountains over treacherous terrain and then draw circles. I really don't know which country would have any kind of natural advantage in a competition like this.

I'm going home to practice walking with liquids now. I have a lot training to do if I'm going to make it to the Summer games.