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Apparently a bunch of frozen Banquet and other brand Pot Pies are filled with juicy Salmonella marinated chicken and eating them can lead to your ultimate demise. This is the last straw with pot pies...I think they should be outlawed. Pot Pies have just gotten too risky.
I'm sure many of you already know many of the inherent dangers already surrounding pot pie consumption but if you don't I'll give you a brief overview.
TONGUE AND MOUTH BURNS: Pot Pies are probably the leading cause of mouth burns in the world. I read a fake statistic that said every 30 seconds 4 people burn their mouths on a pot pie.They are unsuspectingly hot inside. You test the outside, the crust seems cool enough but then when you think everything is safe you let your guard down and when least suspect it and the bite has already gone too far in your mouth to withdraw the steaming magma scalds the roof of your mouth, your tongue all the way down your esophogus. Sure you've learned your lesson but can no longer enjoy the taste of the rest of the pie. How many times does this happen.
HEART DISEASE-Of course we love Americans love pie but do we really need to turn our meals into our dessert? Let Chicken be dinner let pie be dessert. Chicken Pot Pie is deceptively unhealthy, you can lump it into the same category as carrot cake.
GLOBAL WARMING-Like I said, pot pies are hot, real hot. They are the leading pie which causes global warming.
LUPUS- Scientist have discovered no connection between pot pies and Lupus but I bet there is some connection. The problem is a short fall in the research money to study Lupus and its relation to Pot Pie.
DEPRESSION-Sure pot pies are delicious and the happiness you gain from eating them is such a high the downer one feels after is drastic. Withdrawls are commonly experienced much like a cocaine addict. Shortly after all your left with is a burnt mouth, melted artic ice flows, a bad heart, lupus and possibly salmonella.
P.S. The author of this blog things Salmonella sounds nice, like a Salmon princess or something.
